my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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