He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
