i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
