I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just want nice things and good sex
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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