we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
