I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They took my balls.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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