I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
