I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
