i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Someone came in the potted fern
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
