I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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