so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
