Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
