fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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