You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
a search helicopter?!
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
