i think my mom watched the whole time
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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