Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I could fuck to npr.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We are all done wearing pants today
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
and you fell through a lawn chair
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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