no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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