we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
