I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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