I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
from now on my penis is your penis
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
