yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
