its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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