i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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