How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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