Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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