she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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