i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Green mimosas i think yes
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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