I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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