I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
