i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
