it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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