Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
then he tried to convert me to islam
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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