Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I will be naked everywhere
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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