Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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