you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
