i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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