Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
