Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
