the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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