Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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