Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
