Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
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I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
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Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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