dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
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