She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
its liver damage thursday
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