so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Im part way to drunk.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
