If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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