Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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