PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
