i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
