Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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