shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think my moral compass just broke
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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