My room smells like vodka and shame
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
