Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
