Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
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I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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