It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
