...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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