went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Be still, my beating vagina.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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