I'm jealous of your bromance
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
