3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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