RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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