Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
no, he came in my armpit
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
