giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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