Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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