I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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