I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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