we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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